


The Boy On The Bridge

by TheSadisticMunchkin



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bridge - Freeform, Childhood, M/M, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 19:44:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSadisticMunchkin/pseuds/TheSadisticMunchkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I never thought of a boy as beautiful.</p>
<p>But this boy, he was definitely beautiful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Boy On The Bridge

**_“‘Cause if one day you wake up_ **   
**_And find that you’re missing me_ **   
**_And your heart starts to wonder_ **   
**_Where on this earth I could be_ **   
**_Thinking maybe you’ll come back_ **   
**_To the place that we’d meet”_ **   
**_-The Man Who Can’t Be Moved_ **

_**The Boy Who Waited** _

As a child, I never really had friends. Everyone I ever interacted with either were too quick to judge me or just genuinely didn’t like me. It was difficult to go through school not having anyone to chat excitedly with about the new Crash Bandicoot game or someone to copy math homework off of.

Bullies were also an abundance in my school life. The ones who deem themselves worthy as the top of the social hierarchy. The ones who put me down for even the smallest of insecurities. The stress and lack of peers to support me was this close to making me crack or go crazy.

That’s why I love going to the park. The park, or “recreational field” as my mum calls it, is only a few blocks away from my house. My mum would take me there and walk across the street to the office. That place is my haven. The one escape I have in a world so harsh and power-obsessed. An escape to a world that only belongs to me.

Then again, there’s the boy on the bridge.

I only call him ” the boy on the bridge” because that is where I always see him. Whenever I pass by, he’s never anywhere else. Although I’m sure he goes home afterwards but he always sits at the exact same bridge, on the exact same spot and stays there for who knows how long.

It’s like he’s permanently glued to the edge of the bridge, his eyes staring into a land only he can see.

One day, I was let into that world.

My mum had to work extra hours that day and my dad was off on another business trip for a film. The only safe place (as safe as it can get) that my mum can think of to leave me in is the park. I never objected to such a decision. So when she brought me to the park, I was given a kiss on the head and a fresh 20 pound note in my hand for snacks.

I should be lucky. Most nine year olds barely get this much independence and freedom. I just feel…  _lonely,_ I guess. I was happy here though, the park was one of the only things in my life that made me feel even the slightest bit of happiness.

I walked across the grass covered land, occassionally brushing past a patch of flowers or a small bush. It took me 20 minutes of mindless wandering to reach the bridge - to reach the boy on the bridge.

I stood at least 3 feet away from him from my point at the edge of the bridge. I watched as his raven black hair moved gracefully in the wind like some sort of unchoreographed ballet towards the forces of nature. Some strands fell by his eyes so whatever color it was, was obscured from my sight.

I never thought of a boy as beautiful.

But this boy, he was definitely beautiful.

I stared at him for a few more seconds until his head slowly looked up from the flowing stream underneath his pale white skin. He turned his head and I soon realized that he saw me. He caught me staring at him. He blinked his wide blue eyes at me, curiosity evident behind those large innocent eyes. I debated with myself on whether I should look away and continue walking or just stare at him until the air fills with awkwardness.

He stared at me and I stared back, barely blinking for his eyes were an amazing shade of blue. After a few minutes of silence between us, the boy on the bridge smiled. He  _smiled_ at me. I finally blinked my eyes in surprise which earned me a chuckle from the boy.

"Don’t worry, I don’t bite." he said, his voice soft and gentle. He patted the spot next to him on the edge of a bridge. His voice had a northern accent, which means he’s not exactly from here. Maybe he’s on vacation? Or his family moved them here?

Nevertheless, I slowly walked over to him while he continued to smile. The boy held out his hand and I took it, climbing unto the edge of the bridge until I finally sat beside him. “This bridge is my favorite place.” he told me, his northern accent thicker than I imagined.

"Why?" I asked curiously. He looked away from me and stared off into the distance, his hand placed on top of mine. "I can see things no one else can see." He pointed to different places around him that was across the bridge, explaining everything in detail.

What was mesmerizing was that he described things that weren’t even there. He didn’t describe the river as a flowing body of water but a city of delightful sounds and freshness. He told me that the sky is where all his memories go, each and every cloud a most beautiful memory he never wishes to forget.

"The bridge is like a checkpoint." he said after he told me of his adventures by the river. "If I don’t stay here at this bridge, I will forget. I will forget about where I came from. Why I’m here in the first place." He watched our legs swing back and forth beneath him as he spoke softly. "This bridge is where I am happy."

As he finished talking, I realized that me and him were the same. We both wanted an escape to a different world. A place where we can just be ourselves. A place that no one can enter but us. I smiled to myself as I came to the conclusion that him and I are two completely different people with one simple desire.

To be happy.

I stayed there with him, talking, laughing and just enjoying each other’s company. We had several comfortable silences where we listened to each other’s breathing mixed with the flowing river rushing beneath our feet. I, in turn, told him stories as well. Not stories that were as interesting as his but he listened wholeheartedly and that was all that I needed.

I was about to tell him a story of my dog when I heard my mum calling me from the end of the bridge. She was waving towards me, indicating that it was time to go. I frowned, I didn’t want to leave the boy. He was the only friend I ever had. It seemed that the boy felt the same way as he tapped me on the shoulder and looked at me with a pout.

"Will you come back tomorrow?" he asked, his shining blue eyes twinkling in dissapointment.

I jumped onto the bridge, looking towards my mum as she neared me. I looked at him one last time with a reassuring smile. “Of course I will! I promise!” He grinned at me as I walked away, waving from time to time. I reached my mother at the end and without a second glance at the boy, she grabbed my arm and dragged me away from him.

It was strange as she walked frantically back home with me practically tripping over my own feet as she pulled me along. I was confused until we came to our doorstep and she knelt in front of me. “Daniel, I do NOT want you to go near that… that-” I blinked at her in confusion once more, watching as she took a deep breath and finally hissed out

“ _-street boy_ again. Do you understand me?”

My heart stopped momentarily and it seemed as if the world around me was in slow motion.

_I do not want you to go near that street boy again._

I don’t understand. How could she do that? All she wanted me to be was happy! I was happy with him. I actually enjoyed myself when I was with that boy.

I opened my mouth to say something but I stopped myself before I could tell her off. I didn’t know how to describe how I felt with him. The boy on the bridge. It’s like I want to keep him a secret. I don’t want my mum to know of the things he has let me, not anyone else but me, see. So instead I stood there, head hung low, whispering out my defeated response…

"Yes mummy."

* * *

 

_13 years later_

The sun hit my face as it hit its highest peak in the sky. I groaned and covered my face with one of my pillows. “Go away mum.” I absentmindedly sighed, tightening my grip on my bear. I realized only 5 minutes later that I’m not living with my mum anymore.

I’m in a flat in London.

Alone.

I slowly sat up in my bed, my hair a complete curly mess. I found myself past the point of caring and dragged myself, along with my blanket, towards the kitchen. With the blanket still over my shoulders, I made myself a bowl of cereal and 2 crumpets. Yes how bloody british.

I sat down on the table, logging into tumblr immediately. I reblogged a few posts and answered a few questions. It’s a nice quiet life, being a youtuber I guess. I just wish I had someone to share it with. I logged out of tumblr and went to check my emails, Tyler said he was going to send me some details about our new collab video that I’m really excited about.

When I saw my inbox, the first thing there was a notification from an online newspaper that I obviously forgot that I subscribed to. I clicked it out of curiosity, wondering what boring news there is today. I clicked the link to the website and the headline made me stop for a second.

_**MAN DIES SLEEPING ON BRIDGE** _

For the second time, my heart stopped. The world around me moved in slow motion. I read the entire article with tears constantly blurring my vision. When I finished, I was breathing heavily, coughing and practically choking on my own tears.

It was unbelievable.

Even I couldn’t believe it.

My legs felt like jelly as I stood up from the table and collapsed on the couch. I tried to even out my breathing, repeatedly telling myself that it’s over. There was nothing I could do about it. It’s done.

It’s done

It’s over

I practically  _killed_ him

The boy on the bridge. He thought I would keep my promise. He thought I would come back again. He waited. He truly waited for me and I didn’t even make the effort to tell him that I couldn’t. My tears continued to fall down my cheeks and my heart was beating faster and faster with each breath I took.

I can’t blame my mum for this. I can’t even blame him for foolishly believing that I would come.

No.

There is no one else to blame but myself.

I could have saved him. I could have come back at least the day after, explaining everything. I could have learned more about him. Create a friendship stronger than anyone’s. I could have done all of that and yet I didn’t because I was too scared.

I sat on my couch for hours, hearing my phone ringing at least a thousand times. Chris and Pj must be worried. Tyler must be wondering if I should do the collab at all. Everyone else that I considered a friend is probably wondering if I’m okay.

Obviously I’m not okay.

One day they will just forget about me. They will all just realized how horrible of a friend I am. They will stop talking to me eventually and go on with their lives without me in it.

Because that’s what I did to the boy on the bridge.

My phone stopped ringing which means everyone has given up trying to comfort me. None of their comfort would help me anyway. I’m broken. I’m awkward. I’m inconsiderate.

I feel more alone than ever.

That night, I fell asleep on the couch, regretting everything in my life.

But what I regret the most is that I never knew that boy’s name.

* * *

 

Maybe it was a bad idea to come back to Berkshire. This place contained memories that I wish to forget. It was a bad idea to come back to the park. It was a bad idea to come back to the bridge where I met  _him._

I walked across the bridge, absentmindedly stroking the ledge with my fingers as I walked. I listened to the river flowing beneath me. I listened to the birds chirping and the wind blowing. I sighed in frustration, this wasn’t helping me at all.

Everything around me reminded me of him. The way the wind moved my hair reminded me of how it used to do that to his hair. The sky above me reminded me of his wide, innocent blue eyes. The way the river rushed underneath the bridge reminded me t  
of the stories he told me.

My eyes started to brim with tears. I hate to admit it but I miss him. I miss him. We barely knew each other. We don’t even know each other’s names. But he changed my life in a way. He was the first one to show me kindness. He was the first one to show me what it’s like to be happy.

That’s why I strived for happiness. I quit uni because I wasn’t satisfied. I started youtube because I thought it would be fun. It turned out it was fun. I enjoyed my life and I seemingly forgot who that boy on the bridge was.

But then I realized that everything I did in the past 13 years was unintentionally conncected to him. I wanted to be happy and he told me to do whatever it is I have to do to be happy.

Now he’s gone. I’ll never be able to thank him.

I leaned on the ledge, watching the river lazily flow by. My tears finally fell, mixing into the water below me. I wiped my face of any other tears. I don’t want people to see a grown man crying on a bridge, thinking of his dead friend.

I stayed there for who knows how long, staring into the distance, trying to imagine again the world the boy showed me. The world only he could see.

"Hello."

I jumped when I heard a voice beside me. I thought I was the only one here, it was getting late. I looked beside me and saw another man leaning on the ledge. He had dark hair and blue eyes. He smiled a smile so caring towards me and I couldn’t help but smile back.

"H-Hi." I replied awkwardly, not really knowing what else to say. He stared into the river below us and smiled, almost in reminiscence. "You know, I had a friend once. I told him stories of this place."

I blinked in surprise, he sounded exactly like that boy I met. But that was impossible. The boy is dead. He’s not coming back. But why does this man act just like him?

"You almost look like that boy I met here. Funny… I don’t even know his name." I stared at him for a long time. Contemplating if I should just ask. But what will I say?

_Hey man, haven’t seen you in ages! Thought you were dead, what’s that all about?_

Definitely not saying that.

"I had a friend like that too. He told me stories of the cities in the river and all the amazing adventures he imagined himself. He told me the sky was where he kept his memories, each cloud a wonderful memory." I suddenly said. It felt right to tell him because I was crazy enough to believe that it’s him.

I’m hoping for a miracle.

He stared at me and I stared back. The silence between us was palpable and it was like I could see him thinking and working it out. After a few minutes, a smile started to form on his face. The smile that only I would know.

"It’s you. It’s really you." he whispered, touching my face. I leaned in to his cold touch. I don’t really mind. He continued to stare at me as tears formed in his blue eyes. He smiled even wider and chuckled slightly. After a while, I held the hand he had on my face. I stroked my thumb across the back of his hand, refusing to look up at him.

"I’m sorry that my promise is… a bit overdue."

The next thing I knew, I was tackled to the ground in a mighty hug. His laughter filled my ears and brought me great joy. He was repeatedly saying “I knew it” under his breath and laughing even more. I laughed along with him, keeping him close to me.

"I knew you would come. I just knew it!" he said rolling off of me and laying down beside me. I turned my head to face a very excited man, his eyes sparkling in happiness. I wanted to ask him so many things. I wanted to find out who really was the person I read about in the news but at that moment none of that mattered.

I held his hand as he giggled in joy. “I waited for you for so long.” he whispered, tears of joy forming. I chuckled under my breath and just stared into his mesmerizing eyes. “Why did you wait so long? Why didn’t you just give up on me?”

"I would never give up on you. Believe me, there were times where I thought that you didn’t care and that I was foolish enough to think you would come back." I looked down but he brought his hand to my chin and made me look up.

"Then I realized, you were different. I waited because I believed in you. I really liked you…" he trailed off also coming to the fact that he in fact didn’t know my name.

"Dan. My name is Dan." he smiled warmly and continued. "I really like you Dan. I wanted to get to know you better. I waited because I never lost hope in you."

He smiled once again and I smiled with him. His beauty had no expiration date I suppose. He still looked beautiful to me, more beautiful than anyone I have met in the past 13 years. “But where did you go? Like, do you have a home here?”

"I live in Manchester. I annually fly back here just to see if you were there. My family of course thought I was crazy." He shook his head, as if he couldn’t even believe himself. "It was silly I guess but I never stopped hoping." he looked up into the now dark night sky, smiling widely.

"Now I have another memory to store in the sky today."

We layed there in comfortable silence. I watched as the wind moved his hair around again in that familliar ballet. He was still so beautiful to me. I took a bold move and wrapped one arm around him and put my head on his chest. He didn’t mind as he stroked my hair absentmindedly.

His heartbeat was rhythmic and soothing against my ear. “Oh by the way,” I said sitting up. He sat up as well, an eyebrow cocked up in curiosity. “Yeah?” he asked. “I still don’t know your name.” I said, staring as our hands were still entwined between us.

He smiled and said “Phil. My name is Phil.”

**Author's Note:**

> my first fanfic yay


End file.
